Check me out now whiskybottoms.wordpress.com
only happens to me.
My new man and I had an amazing dinner on Valentines. That is what happens when you date a chef, and myself being a foodie, meals are taken extremely to serious. We head back to my place to end the evening and as we climb my stairs I see a box.
I do not get excited. I know who it is from. My ex, who knowing were we stand sent it anyway, with a card that said I love you all over it. New guy didn’t ask about it. I just shoved it into the kitchen like it was trash by the back door. This is an ex that I have never mentioned before and I think a story is due because it explains Single Chick on a new level. I was embarrassed, sock, horrified I would have to explain, but he didn’t ask so I didn’t tell. I mean how the hell would you feel if you get home on Valentine’s with your boyfriend and there is a package at your door from an ex. I also feel compelled to tell new guy what is going on. He deserves to know and I don’t want anything kept from him. I like him a lot.
I have no creative juices left in me to try to create different names for these men. I can’t call them all Mr. Asshole. Suitor #1 is Brad.
Brad has taught me that I should always go with my gut instinct…no matter what! I briefly mentioned our date, which was lovely, but that is it, just lovely. There was no spark, no flirtatious banter. He was quite and and shy and made conversation slightly draining (now that I think about it calling it lovely is a stretch). I thought however I was trying something new this year. To be open to dating different men and seeing what developed and giving more people opportunities to see were things may lead, so to speak…
I was hesitant, I agreed to a second date because he seemed so genuine and made it clear that he likes me and he said that he was shy so I thought well it has to get better. Second date, I was slightly off my game, but on a bad day I can bring it. Same pattern followed dinner and drinks, this time it was a Friday night which allowed for more getting to know each other time. I offered to give him a ride home. He declined and I was left with two hugs and a kiss on the cheek.
Que the FUCK IT THIS!!! I don’t have time to play these games, people please present your adult card prior to asking for a date and initiating conversation then we may proceed forward. I no longer will play game,have the patients and am flat out done with the run around. Either we like each other not, other wise move on.
He finally kisses me, minus me throwing a mini tantrum which is all in my head. That was almost going on three weeks ago and since then there has been nothing but short chats that I quickly end and the occasional drunk text from him, not to mention almost standing me up but I was smart enough to know not to show. And enough with the text messaging, if you are drunk and horny act, don’t just text…I follow through.
All of his behavior leads me to believe that he is hiding something and do I care to know what it is, is still the question. I have this dog with a bone disease…I just can’t let things go…my conscious thinks its a bad idea.
Luckily I have people on my side. A little over a week ago a friend of mine drops me a line, “don’t be mad, I gave a guy at work your number and email thank me later. “
He sends me an email because he didn’t want to seem so intrusive. I was hesitant because I knew nothing about him and men to be a constant source of frustration I could do without. Next thing I know my phone is ringing. I had no idea how this story was going to end, but I picked up the phone anyway.
Suitor #1 who knew, the guy that turns out was just to shy to call initially has far more potential then Suitor #2. #1 is definitely coy, but in a cute shy, I just want to get to know you kind of way.
After accidentally having sex with #2. I went out with #1. We had a very proper first date. Dinner at Wildfire which was followed by drinks at Martini Park in which we mocked the cover band I managed to spill most of my martini on myself (classy me).
He gave me a hug goodnight and I believe a kiss on the check, then the next morning I get this voice mail about how he had this hot date last night and when was he going to see her again.
I am of course thrilled, right? Except that he is nothing like the men I usually date…
**This post was written almost two weeks ago.It will all make sense soon.
Saturday morning with only 360 days left. It is going to be a long year.
After playing Karma’s game Friday night I was ready. First date of the new year and a new guy to boot.
Before even going home Friday afternoon I picked a time with suitor #1, set done deal, then nothing back from him. Meanwhile just testing the waters with suitor #2. Well after work no one had still called until I get to an appointment and I can’t answer the phone. suitor #1 leaves a text suitor #2 calls and leaves a voice-mail. Suitor #2 you win for taking a greater incentive. We talk, off and on make plans, he show up at my place close to 10. He waits downstairs inside my building for me. We get into his car and head off to what turned out to be a fabulous wine bar.
2:30 a.m. he is walking out of my apartment. Yeah Yeah, I left out a huge chunk of the sequential time line for a reason. If you are paying close attention somethng is wrong with the situation and why I fall back into the same bad habits time after time again.
I initially thought I would take a cab and meet him somewhere there for I can just get in a cab and go back home. But there was no real set plan and my place was out of the question. Next thing I know he says he will pick me up and we can figure it out..uh..okay. Then he parks gets out of his car and walks to my door. I didn’t let him in…of course not. We find this wine bar that I found on metromix. Sit down pick a bottle of wine. The conversation is flowing, he is touchy(and prior to the wine). I have issues with personal space. Afterwards we get back in his car and drive back to my place to have another bottle. Clearly what little self control I do have has disappeared. We are in my apartment, he opens another bottle of my Zin and we are on the couch watching Sex and the City. Next thing I know we are making out and things are getting hot. I back off and decide no, not going to let this happen. He gets up to leave, I walk to the closet to grab his coat and we are at it again. This time against the wall and there seems to be no signs of letting up. Well I just gave in and it was worth minute of it.
That was until Monday night….
I am one bad girl (and I like it).
Same bad habits
Barely a week into 2008 and already I have two possible new suitors and one old flame. I am not so interested in starting a new relationship or sparking up an old one, ha famous last words. I just needed some of that old spark that I use to have back. I think its on its way, but lets not get ahead of ourselves at the moment.
So date tonight, something about cuddling a fire..blah, blah, blah. One red flag to speak of he likes the movie The Notebook, why must I always be the man in the relationship?
The new apartment number isn’t 2B, teetering on crazy and you would never know I have a cat. As a shocker I no longer live in Lincoln Square, however I am still single. So as I ponder a new title of this blog I will write about all and nothing. I was distant from this blog for no reason. I am now commanding myself to write at least twice a week, which surely means if I can write twice a month I’m ahead of the game.
I have every intention of starting the new year with the same bad habits (oh Yes!!). Which for me means the same men who cause my head to spin out of control, lucky for me I have said good ridden to most of them and plan on picking up a few more very shortly.
I now possess “the ca-hones” that I’ve needed all along to take the world on by storm. Dormant as I felt I was, no longer just coasting in life, making strides and kicking ass, that’s me.
25 is approaching and my top 5 by 25 is not looking good. Six months to do it??
On another not I’m tired of making resolutions, goals, deals with the devil all because the change of the calender. If only we all tried to live better and continue to make strides towards a better life for all mankind everyday…if only.
Truly none of us ever knows what lies ahead, we can only hope not to stumble down the path as we go. All of last years bruises are healed, I’m ready for a fresh batch.
Sincerely Yours,
Still single and still living in a square
Met a boy.
Fell in love.
Heart broken.
Again.
I have never been apart of so much meandering in a relationship of any sorts, my cats are more straightforward then this man. I try attempt empathy when he is concerned. I think to myself this time, it will be different, it should and it has to be. Then we should also be asking why my emotions are boarding masochism at the least.
I ponder one major stipulation, is it still there, what ‘we’ had? The days after initial contact resulted in plenty of calls, short ended to say the least. And then and then it happened. I must have the balls the size of well… I called him and it just happened he was at Cafeneo. Um…hold one thought. That coffee shop is mine, granted I don’t like it, its still mine, the territory belongs to me. I live within walking distant to it, my train stop at Western. MINE! MINE! MINE! hmpf.
I took my sweet ass time. I’m pretty sure I went blank before I opened the door and was prepared to deal with whatever shit that was about to come flying my way. The conversation is not worth repeating. It was his usually self-absorbed diatribe. We walked back up Lincoln Ave, he gave me a hug and I walked home.
I was full of mixed feelings. I wanted to call him and extend an invitation to do something. I held reservation. Did I still like him? What are my feelings? I knew that I had to marinate on it. He didn’t even give me the chance. A day or two later he was texting me, I guess just because. I was still very much in the air about things. I had no real inclination to contact him. I knew that if him and I were going to have another go at things there has to be a cosmic force present.
Well fast forward to this past Friday, we had barely spoken. I did call him earlier in the week and he called me back once and I assume like every other time forgot because he became all to consumed in his own world. I have to throw myself off track for a moment as usually. Through this entire communication I have been waiting for him to say I’m seeing someone else or I don’t have feelings for you anymore, almost anything that will get me off the hook of trying to figure my emotions out for myself. Here we are Friday evening. I have plans for the evening, but hey I’m an opportunist of sorts, always waiting for something better to come along. Eating dinner with my parents and next thing i’m in concert The Killers, Amy Winehouse, I chuckle when I hear the sounds from the other room, because everyone has their own personalized ring tone. As my ass starts to come up from the chair hands in motion to put my food down, I stop myself and continue eating.
I did however return his phone call, because I am of course glutton for punishment…
